interest today:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reincarnation

maybe i can incorporate sth. about reincarnation in this work.

how would she be and whom would her soul choose? can you come back and put parts of yourself into someone else?

how much code of my mother do i have in me? and how much code of my dad?
the thing is that i feel that something is coming to an end and i need some kind of process to hel o me through all this. my dad is in hospital and the reality of the possibility of death is simply there and cannot be ignored. and i suddenly realize that i am not ready for losing my only parent.
i need to connect in a different way before it is too late. and it takes a lot of courage. that i need to build up first.
my lack of contact also has somehting to do with no feeling adequate, with not having any success stories to tell, with feeling inferior to everyone. if i felt proud of what i am doing, if i felt that i am a "real" artist, then maybe i could talk to him in a different way. now i only feel inadequate, a disappointment.